Broken Beating Heart
by MeredithBrody
Summary: Pride comes to check up on Brody after all that happened with Emily's case (Prody) (2x18)
**I wrote a Brames post-ep yesterday... Tonight it's Prody's turn. You can all blame my lovely writing partner PinkAngel17 for that too.
-Shin** **xx**

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 _I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
 _With a broken heart that's still beating_  
 _In the pain there is healing_  
 _In your name I find meaning_  
 _So I'm holding on, I'm holding on_  
 _I'm holding on, I'm barely holding on to you_  
 _- **"Broken" by Lifehouse**_

Meredith Brody had honestly expected to be left alone today. Pride had given them all the day off, providing no urgent cases came up, and she was intending to spend the day in a hastily built blanket fort pretending the world didn't exist. That had been her coping mechanism since she was a kid, and today she had her photographs, and another box full to go through. OK, half of the fort was made from boxes, but it still counted. So the knock that forced her out of her safety annoyed her. She really didn't want to move, but she knew the only people knocking today likely had a key anyway, so she got up and just let Pride in. "How you doing?"

"I honestly don't know." She answered honestly, shooting a furtive glance to her childish sanctuary and frowned, feeling like she wouldn't get to hide away again for a while. it was nice that he'd come himself though, rather than sent Loretta round to check on her again. Something she couldn't help but commenting on, purely because she was annoyed that she wasn't in her Fort again. "Didn't send Loretta this time?"

"Thought that I'd come by and check on you myself, since there is no case we're working right now." That seemed fair, but at the same time she was just annoyed, or maybe she was sad. She was struggling to tell the difference. Merri honestly wasn't sure if it was the memories of Emily or seeing Daniel and his family again that had put her so much on the wrong foot.

"I'll be alright Pride." She said eventually, deciding to let go of being annoyed at him in favour of accepting he was going to worry about her regardless. That seemed to be the thing that he did best. Pride worried about all of his team, and in one way that was one of the things she loved about this place.

"You sure?" He asked seriously, and all she could do was nod. She couldn't keep dwelling on this all, or it would drive her off the cliff. It was already a very narrow cliff to begin with. Pride seemed to decide not to push, and took a different track. "I got a call from your momma, asking if you were telling the truth."

"She didn't want to believe Robert could do that. She didn't want to believe someone we considered family was the reason we didn't have Emily any more." She had sat through the flat denial in that phone call. She had to admit, possibly calling with an air of 'I told you so' had been a bad idea.

"I can understand it, from a parent's perspective." Of course Pride would find a way to understand it from both sides. He always did, somehow. Yet for this moment that just annoyed her, not because he should do it, but because she didn't understand why Robert Nolan hadn't looked on it that way. Why hadn't he seen it from both sides. Why hadn't he come forward when Emily died.

"I don't understand why he did what he did, I don't understand. I'll never understand. It hurts so much that his selfishness is why Emily and I will never get to grow old together." She remembered those nights when they were young and they'd spoken about their lives. She remembered when Daniel and James had proposed within weeks of each other, and the plans she and Emily had then made. They had been lifelong plans, and now they were nothing more than discarded dreams that hurt her already damaged heart. "We were both supposed to be married by now. She and Daniel were going to have half a dozen kids so James and I could be the cool aunt and uncle."

"You had plans." Pride's comment wasn't really a question, more just a prompt to continue speaking that was what she needed too. She needed to get all this out, she needed to let it flow free. All those plans she'd had for so long had died on that August night. Making plans without Emily had been too hard. Now there was nothing.

"We did." She nodded and ended up just flinging herself onto the sofa, feeling Pride sit down a little more gracefully beside her a second later. Once she'd controlled her momentary outburst she started speaking again. "I know that if I accept this, accept that things will never be what we planned… There will be some healing. You and Loretta were right, of course. My life is important as well, but I feel guilty that I can go on without her." She knew that was an odd combination of survivor guilt and grief, but it was something she had never been able to shake. The guilt at moving on when Emily would never be able to. "I have this broken, beaten, holey heart that still somehow manages to go on."

Pride clearly wasn't in the mood to let her have a pity party, and he took her hands to try and prevent her from continuing to grumble and complain. "You're stronger than you realise Meredith." He tried to tell her, and she needed to show him that that was just a front. That wasn't really how she felt. She was brittle, and not at all strong.

"I'm not, I'm really not. One wrong move and I will shatter into a million pieces." She felt the tears starting now, and the thing she hated more than anything else was letting someone see her cry. Normally her body held it in until she was alone, but not today. "The thing I'm best at in the world is making everyone think that I'm holding on, when I am a finger away from being overboard." She was trying to hold it together now, but she wasn't sure she could.

"Then I'll pull you back in." Pride said quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder. He didn't say anything else, just let her get control before saying anything further. "You're in my family now, and you're not gonna be left behind. You have us. All of us." She looked at him and tilted her head, not exactly sure what he meant. "Me, Loretta, Sebastian, Triple P, Sonja and even Chris. We're all here when you need us."

"Want to see some pictures?" She asked suddenly, trying to think of ways to brush this off. She could show Pride come pictures and tell some stories. Maybe that would help her focus on the good times, and see that it wasn't always bad. "I was cute in high school, I swear. I was a nerd, but I was cute."

"I'm sure you were, and I'd love to see the pictures." He smiled, clearly liking the idea that she was finally letting him into that part of her life. The part that was her before she got here. She thought it was time too. It was just another way of moving on. "Tell me all about Emily. Get it out now, and we can face tomorrow together." He smiled then sat back, and she just thought about something else she'd wanted to say to him.

"King…" She started, then froze as she thought of exactly what to say. He waited a moment then coughed slightly, clearly inviting her to continue. The problem was that she'd frozen, and no longer had any idea how to say what she was thinking.

"Yeah?" He replied, just looking curious. She couldn't help but smile, and she hoped he knew that this wasn't going to be a sign of her running again. It was one of her ways of putting down roots. the only way she knew how.

"Thank you." She blurted, then at his confused look she laughed, calming herself down long enough to get out what she was thinking. "You gave me a family when I had nothing, you gave me a home when I was alone. I'm glad I could make you proud."

"You always do." He squeezed her shoulder again and nodded. That was something she wasn't really used to hearing from anyone. She was glad that she made someone proud.

"There is one condition to all of this." She started, deciding she was going to mess with him a little now. It just seemed like a fun idea, and she'd enjoy doing it too.

"Oh?" He asked, and she nodded toward her favourite feature of the room right now. At the look on his face she snorted loudly, and couldn't resist continuing with it. It just felt like the appropriate place to do all this.

"Gotta join me in the fort. Come on." She smiled and got up, knowing she'd made it plenty big enough for two. Everything she had ever learnt to build as a kid had been big enough for two, and that had carried into adulthood. Pride just smiled and shook his head, but joined her anyway. He wasn't Emily, he wasn't the same as her, but he really wanted to be there for Merri, and she could let him. He was in a blanket fort for her, that said it all.


End file.
